Inspiration – Page 2 – Like Her Type

December 1, 2016December 7, 2016

Why your tattoo demonstrates a beautiful faith in others

Although I got my first tattoo two weeks before the US election results, it’s only recently dawned on me how important it is to have faith at a time when it would be much easier to withdraw from the unknown. When I read the news at the moment, all I want to do is withdraw from civilisation and live on the fringes of the Amazon rainforest. When what I should be doing, what all of us should be doing, is standing up and shouting about what we believe in louder than ever. For this reason, my tattoo (and yours) means more to me than I fully anticipated; it demonstrates complete and utter trust in a perfect stranger to create a part of you, a hidden message to the world, which is kind of a big deal when you think about it.

The very notion of having faith in others might seem like a fragile thing after the catastrophes of 2016. Many of us have hoped and prayed for an outcome that the unexpected majority passionately prevented. It’s a strange thing, to feel like democracy has screwed you over. To be reminded, cruelly, how very little control you have. To feel like a minority, to fill negative space, when you were so convinced all of humanity should surely be on your side.

Does a majority vote make it the right decision? Of course not. But is there proof that you were right either? God no. Because the truth is, nobody on this earth knows the direction we should be heading to reach the best-possible outcome. After all, rock bottom can only mean a upwards climb ahead. Brexit and Trump. It’s impossible to digest, but digest we must.

It kind of helps to look at it this way: they weren’t votes for evil (although the racist, sexist, fascist, homophobic undertones are hard to ignore, I know). Most of the votes were cries for help. For change. The outcome might seem horrifying now, but it could be the catalyst that people like you and I need to actually start paying attention. Have you invested a greater interest in politics, the economy, and the future of the world since these shocking revelations began to unfold? ME TOO. That must be a positive thing, right?

It’s amazing how far you can push yourself to cooperate with the world when you have to. Look at the brave souls who lived through WW1 or WW2, or, amazingly enough, through both. We feel hard done by now, but in all honestly, most of us have no idea how it feels to be well and truly fucked over by the system and dictated by the elite. Trump might look worryingly like the next Hitler, but we have to believe he isn’t. We have to have faith in the order of things. We have to let this shit unfurl before we come to grand conclusions. Because if I’ve learned anything over the last year or so, it’s that worrying about the future doesn’t solve a thing.

I’m writing this post because I want to talk about putting faith in a stranger on a personal level, and how it might just help us to maintain the crucial level of trust we need to be able to hold humanity close. Little gestures have big consequences, maybe we’ll understand that now more than ever. So rather than fearing the stranger that may or may not be on your side, remember there is more that binds us than our political standpoint. I will never understand why someone voted for Brexit or Trump, but I sympathise with a nation that truly believed that was their best option. I’m devastated at the sheer amount of hate that fuelled these campaigns, but I flat out refuse to be the hater. I will never add to that.

So erm, what’s the tattoo got to do with it?

I always dreamed of having a tattoo, but I never actually thought I’d get one. Which is a sad kind of dilemma when you think about it. Wanting something so much but not actually having the balls to make it happen. I let the fear of regret get in the way. This frame of mind is pretty much the opposite of how I decided to live my life last year when I headed off around the world in a determined flurry of free-spiritedness. It wasn’t supposed to be a temporary thing, to worry less. To make stuff happen and feel alive. So on 22nd October 2016, I got my first tattoo.

It symbolises even more than the painting in my Grandparents house it was based on. It demonstrates a shift in my frame of mind. A symbol of change, freedom and identity. Something I can hold close forever in an ever-changing world. Sometimes we need to be bold and take risks to feel alive. That’s just human nature. But ultimately, we crave the familiar. Your tattoo probably represents both.

Aside from my tattoo reminding me why people often go to extremes to gain a sense of control, it also serves as a beautiful declaration of putting my body (and the way it will look for the rest of my life) in the trust of a complete and utter stranger.

Well, Martha Smith isn’t exactly a stranger any more. I couldn’t recommend this talented lady enough. She perfectly captured the inspiration I sent her, and now I have the first and only thing I know will be mine forever. The permanency of tattoos once scared me much in the same way that change did. What if something goes wrong that I can’t go back and fix? Having finally learned how to worry less, it kind of struck me that there’s so much comfort to be found in both the tie of forever and the opportunity change presents, if only your interpretation will allow for it.

So I guess this post is an attempt at comfort, and a plea to keep the faith in the little things you do if the bigger picture is too hard to take right now. Give up your seat on the train, smile at passers by, and hey, maybe even trust someone enough to get that tattoo you keep thinking about. Because the more intimately we all interact, the closer we’ll come to understanding how a nation can become so divided. We’re all in this together, after all.

You can find Martha Smith at Xotica in North Finchley, London.

Here’s a little look at some of her wonderful work: http://marthaellensmith.tumblr.com/

October 18, 2015November 16, 2015

Lessons from you: transforming your body

I love a strange coincidence. Earlier this week, when I was thinking to myself “I really must start asking people to guest post”, one of my close friends sent me this and asked if I’d like to feature it. I don’t know what moved me more; the story behind Omar’s incredible transformation, or the fact he’s associated such a positive life lesson with my blog. If there’s anything to inspire you to turn something negative completely around, it’s this. Enjoy.

“Let me take you back a year or so and introduce you to my past self. I was skinny-fat, unhealthy and binge drinking every weekend, constantly planning my next big night out. Eating was just something I did to fill my forever-growling belly. I didn’t care what it was. If I was hungry, I would eat anything, never pausing to consider what effect it might be having on my body. Exercise was, in my opinion, a myth. And as for people who posted on social media about fitness, well, they were absolute losers that needed to get a life.

I became quite ill earlier in the year, and food was suddenly something I had to pay a lot of attention to. Monitoring what foods my body could and couldn’t tolerate daily became a huge part of my life. I went from life and soul of the party, to sitting at home in pain, feeling sorry for myself. I was put on medication, which thankfully made the pain go away. I started feeling better and came off the meds, looking forward to getting on with my life as normal. Only, the side effects of the medication meant that I’d gained a lot of weight.

I had no choice but to re-evaluate my entire lifestyle. If I wanted to remain healthy and live a normal life, I would have to make some serious changes. My diet was in check, but I just didn’t feel or look good. I set about trying to lose the weight that I’d gained by doing youtube workouts at home and I really enjoyed it. My friend and I would meet up every day after work for some high-intensity interval training and ab work outs. I started to feel really good, although progress was slow at first; I was feeling better in myself.

Then, I made the best decision I’ve ever made; I joined the gym. Armed with knowledge of the weight room through various youtube videos, I tackled those dumbbells everyday on my own. I didn’t really have a clue what I was doing at first, but as my knowledge grew, I set myself a muscle split for the week and it became my life.

My goal was to gain a six-pack. I achieved this after three months of training and completely changed my body. I felt amazing. Let’s be honest, who doesn’t want six pack abs?

And now?

Well, after those initial three months, I decided that I love the sport of sculpting your body so much that I’ve set myself a new goal. I want to compete. I want to be on stage and show off what I love to do and what I’ve achieved. So, now I have a coach, Kyle from Colossus Fitness, who helps me with nutrition, training schedules and general motivation. He’s helped me so much. I think my friends appreciate Kyle as much as I do – they don’t have to listen to me go on about the gym (as much) now that I have an outlet for that. I still have a long way to go, but I am so proud of my progress so far.

Why am I boring you with the story of my life? Quite simply, I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy. And it might sound silly, but if I can inspire anyone reading this that is feeling stressed with life, fed up or just wanting to look and feel good to get in the gym, I’ll feel like I’ve done my good deed.

If I’ve had a shitty day, as soon as I start training I immediately forget it. And if I’ve had a good day and I get in the gym, the day is even better. There’s no greater satisfaction than feeling like you’ve achieved something every single day.

Going back to me a year ago, him reading this would have laughed and told me to jog on (whilst eating an XL doner kebab with chilli sauce/salad boss). I’m the last person anyone would have expected to be living the way I do, if I can do it, seriously, so can you.

I’m not saying you need to dedicate your life and compete in bodybuilding. Just have a think about giving this fitness thing a try. Get in the gym this winter and you won’t have to shy away in the summer. What have you got to lose? Apart from maybe a bit of belly fat.”

Feeling inspired? Follow Omar’s progress on Instagram @omargod1

July 17, 2015

Her Review: #facefoward by The Pool and Clinique

For any of you who haven’t heard of The Pool (seriously, where have you been?), it’s a very clever, very useful online destination for busy women seeking interesting news and information. From politics to beauty tips, it breaks down everything worth knowing into bite-size pieces that make you wonder what you ever did on your lunch break before. Plus, co-founders Sam Baker and Lauren Laverne are both brilliant, having put their combined writer-editor-author-presenter-DJ-comedienne experiences to the best-possible use – one of those things that looks good on paper and actually is.

Anyway, last night I was lucky enough to be invited to The Pool’s #facefoward event, in partnership with Clinique. And aside from the generous goody bag (always a nice surprise), I took so much away from the evening. I don’t usually review places and events, but I do love to talk about inspiration and motivation, which is exactly what the evening centred around. Laverne interviewed four very driven, very different women, quizzing them on the women who inspired them before inviting ‘future selves’ onto the stage to ask unfiltered questions.

Internationally acclaimed war photographer Lynsey Addaroi kicked off the evening; followed by Liberty London Girl’s very own Sasha Wilkins; England cricketer Ebony-Jewel Rainford-Brent; and Channel 4 news broadcaster Cathy Newman. Although these four women are experts in very different fields, striking similarities run through their four incredible journeys – namely that it is impossible to learn, grow and thrive without experiencing the really hard times, whatever they may be. Addaroi was captured on the frontline and threatened with execution, Wilkins slept in her car and kept her identity a secret, Rainfort-Brent was told she would never walk again and Newman has suffered the worst kind of sexism throughout her entire career. Four strong, fiercely independent women who simply refused to give up. Each time they took a knock, they built something stronger and more resilient in return. It isn’t the money, lifestyle and celebrity status that we should be aspiring to, it’s to develop an ability to believe in ourselves no matter what. The evening depicted this beautifully.

June 14, 2015June 14, 2015

Lesson 21: feeling inspired for life

As a writer, one of my biggest fears is having nothing to say. What if I just wake up one day and my mind is an empty space where all my ideas used to be? I suppose I’d write about feeling frustrated. I’d write about my apparent sense of nothingness until my feelings of uselessness vanished. Accomplishment regained. That is the beauty of my profession. If I want to write, I can. Even when I’m writing about nothing. There is only ever a problem if I do not wish to write. That is a different story. You could say that the same goes for life; if we wish to live zealously, the best we can, for as long as we can, then we will. Even when we’re not doing anything particularly exciting. If we lose interest in life however, having lost control of the narrative, we’re forever staring at blank pages. The only person who can kick-start the story is the author – you.

I want to talk about what inspires me to stay focussed on the things I love doing, even during the times when I don’t feel like doing them. It can seem like your life is on pause when you lack the necessary motivation to simply have a ‘good day’. If you ever do a questionnaire about depression, it will ask whether you ‘have little interest in doing things you used to enjoy.’ I don’t want to talk about depression, but I do want to address the feeling we all get from time to time that saps us of inspiration. It’s completely normal, particularly when a lot of us have the same routine day-in, day-out. I don’t know many people who jump for joy each morning at the prospect of simply being alive. And in all honesty, I wouldn’t want to. There is so much pressure on all of us to be happy happy happy all the time. We are allowed to be miserable too – ups don’t exist without downs. However, feeling happy and feeling inspired are quite different things.

Seeking inspiration in your darkest times can be one of the best ways to gain something beautiful from them. When I was a teenager, I broke up with my first love and was completely devastated. I scrawled vast amounts of THE most cringe-worthy songs, poems, letters etc on any bit of paper I could find, and from that embarrassing, weirdly poignant adolescent experience, I learnt that anger and pain can make you feel like creating something: something that represents your emotions and releases you of them. Painters, musicians and authors have been doing it since civilization began. This can only really mean one thing – a lack of inspiration doesn’t necessarily come from some deep-routed unhappiness, it comes from monotony and a lack of life experience. Similarly, in some ways depression isn’t sadness at all, it’s feeling uninspired. With achievement comes a purpose in life – the one thing we’re all searching for. Without inspiration, we feel hopeless. Anyway, casting depression to one side, how do we keep ourselves feeling inspired on the really dreary can’t-be-arsed days we all know too well? Here are a few pointers that work for me:

Have you ever been unemployed? I have. It was fucking awful. Writing jobs were rarer than unicorns when I graduated. Now, when I feel like I can’t face going to work, I think about how happy I was to be offered my first proper job out of Uni and I cling onto that thought. Past-me would kick the shit out of present-me if she heard me moaning about having to work. From bankers to bar tenders, jobs give us a purpose and that’s pretty important. It’s for this reason you should never give up searching for the right job, either. You will get there.

Are you reading this blog post? In which case, your half-way to beating a lack of motivation – you’re interested in what someone else has to say, in what someone else is working on. People inspire people. If you like and respect what someone is about, use their influence to your advantage. When I see someone looking great or working hard when I’ve made zero effort, I consciously try harder the next day. Competition is healthy and necessary. If you are feeling uninspired, surround yourself with people from all walks of life and learn something from them. You won’t learn anything sitting at home by yourself.

Have you done anything completely new recently? One of the most influential things for staying on the ball is good old-fashioned stimulation. Exercise those brain muscles by challenging yourself to something you’ve never done before. It could be anything from wearing red shoes to sky diving. A few weeks ago, Joe and I did an archery class. It gave me such a buzz because it was completely out of routine.

When was the last time you read a book? I know I always bang on about the benefits of reading, and I know it’s hard to find the time, but it really does make you feel better. Finishing a book is so rewarding and chances are, the words would have made you laugh, cry and think carefully about life.

Have you thought about volunteering or charity work? This is right at the top of my list at the moment. Not just giving money to charity, but being present and actively helping. If you are feeling uninspired, turn your gaze to people who have far less than you and think about the difference you could make. Even if you just buy the Big Issue and have a chat with the person selling it.

Do you have a hobby? There is more to life than work. There really is. But there is also more to life than lazing on the sofa or getting pissed. Turn the TV off and try taking up something you’ve always wanted to do. Whether it’s photography, running, a makeup artist course, sushi-making classes, painting, poetry reading, baking or blogging, find something useful and rewarding to focus your energy on. Also, I’m not saying get a puppy but…

Are you proud of your physical appearance? Sometimes a lack of enthusiasm can come from not feeling our best. Maybe it’s time to start eating right, or hit the gym harder, or get a haircut, or treat ourselves to new makeup? Or maybe it’s time to stop letting our insecurities get in the way of life? We regret the things we didn’t do. You’ve heard it a 100 times now.

The reason I’m writing about this is because I have to talk myself into ‘doing things’ quite a lot. My natural reaction is often to shun people and hide under my duvet, and this is something about me that I hate. It is possible to ignore the voice in your head that tells you to say ‘no’, you simply say ‘yes’. Next time you’ve got that I’m-so-bored-but-I-can’t-be-bothered-to-do-anything feeling, give yourself a little shake and remind yourself that THE ENTIRE WORLD is at your feet. It’s never too late to pick yourself up and start again, ever.

I came across a quote the other day: ‘Work is fascinating, I could stare at it for hours.’ You don’t have to be a writer to recognise the feeling of staring at a blank page for a really long time, willing something to happen. The truth of the matter is, whether it’s words, work or life, it doesn’t happen to us, we happen to it. We write the stories, we put in the effort and we reap the rewards.

April 24, 2015

Lesson 16: taking back control

Three years ago today, my caring, funny, inspirational Granddad passed away. Despite being diagnosed with Leukaemia and given 2 years to live, he stayed with us for 8. He simply refused to go. He didn’t want to miss out. However much pain he was in, whatever it took, he wasn’t ready to leave the party. Bi-weekly blood transfusions were the norm and yet I never saw him without a smile on his face. So grateful to be with his family, my Granddad loved life and was the absolute life and soul, right until his very last day.

One of the reasons I’m writing this is because recently, I haven’t been enjoying life the way I used to, and I know I’m not alone. As we get older, life seems to get more and more complicated. It’s hard to always see past the stresses of work and the endless bills, let alone the things that seem completely beyond our control. But are they? Are the negative things we face completely uncontrollable? Because if my brave granddad can outright refuse to die, I have means to believe we are often more powerful than we know.

For anyone struggling a bit at the moment, take a step back from your life and isolate all the things you are unhappy with. Split them into two categories and write them down; things you can change and things you can’t. Take the ‘can’t change’ category and think about each and every thing very carefully, then simply rip it up. If you honestly feel like there is nothing you can do then maybe it’s time to cast these things from your mind entirely. Letting them go will give you more energy to focus on the things you can change. Next, take your ‘can change’ list and write a positive, realistic goal next to each thing. Whether you want to travel the world, lose weight, beat depression, get the job of your dreams or find the love or your life, these things are all within your grasp if you want them badly enough. The very best things in life come from hard work and dedication – that is what makes them so great.

Some of you will know that I often have very vivid, messed-up dreams, both when I’m awake and asleep. Apparently, these ‘intrusive thoughts’ have developed as a result of an anxiety disorder. For me, this often feels like something I have absolutely zero control over. Unimaginable things come into my head when I’m walking down the street, catching the tube or lying in bed at night. They stay with me for days. They provoke panic attacks. I don’t know where they come from, but I’ve been assured that CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) will teach me how to control them.

In the last week or so, I’ve dreamed of my Granddad three times. The dreams were calm, he was smiling and I woke up feeling safe. Always remember that you are the author of your own life. Take control and never forget how lucky you are to have a voice. Whatever you think you become, it’s as simple as that.